December's Wall of Shame

Ten days in and there was nothing so heartbreaking it needed to be posted here, but now, December has been deflowered. I present December's wall of shame.

At the end of the semester in a critical writing course, this is what you are handing in?:

"Adaptation is setting a written work into a new form. The film plays with the word a lot seeing that the word was the core for this movie. This was a very interesting movie, I saw a very deeply confused and cynical man trying so hard to write this screenplay and continually getting more and more lost in his own head. To be honest, I thought that Donald, the twin brother played by nicholas cage, was actually in the main characters, charlie, head. Together, they make up one person, a whole screenwriter. I did feel the frustration from charlie when donald managed to quickly write a knockout screenplay when charlie was writing for so long and kept coming up blank."

Please, don't bother to proofread:

"In deed Dr. Lecter was Starling's mentor in her debut of promising detective. Dr Lecter intellect helped Starl'sing to become a detective, she conquered her fear of the 'screaming lambs'.

I believe that was one characteristic that they both Starling and Dr. Lecter shared was their ability to observe and analyze. And another technique that Dr. Lecter was able to teach Starling, was how to simplify. Too always look for simplicity."

At least he knows "a lot": (This is the text of an admission essay. Yes, the *entire* essay. I should add this is from a native English speaker who is an adult.)

“My Easy”

In 1997 I was traveling in South east of United States, I lived Florida for a few months, When I first went to florida in broward county it was very humend. Then I was Atlanta, after several of travels in the south I decied to settler in new york. A lot of things have change in New York such the economy. So Now I want to go back to school to get more education

Could we make an exception?

My is _____ I was excepted into Pace University for the fall semester and did not attend can I attend the upcoming semester does Pace University still have my transcripts? thank you

(My faux response: Dear _____, I'm not entirely sure how you were excepted, but I assure we will NOT be making an exception this time. Please learn how to use proper spelling, punctuation, and capitalization before reapplying to Pace University. Thank you.)